Music
by Dollhousesareforwhimps
Summary: Ten Souji/Yosuke vignettes done for a music meme. No songfic here.


Done for a music meme in my spare time. You put your iTunes on shuffle, write a ficbit inspired by whatever comes up, only get the duration of the song to write, and you get the idea. This was tons of fun! I was going to split it into chapters, but some are so short I didn't see the point. Let me know if you enjoyed these! :D

Oh, and these are pretty much all Souji/Yosuke from various angles, so be warned! Also be warned of occasional silliness and occasional...crushing angst-ness.

* * *

_I need words to tell you 'bout my pounding heart_

_Four dollar words that make a guy sound smart_

_Oh, I guess that's why they invented Shakespeare!_

_His articulations of a lover's palpitations are so keen!_

"What are you doing?"

Yosuke jumped, swiveling his head around with a bright, albeit startled, grin. His nail bitten fingers flew blindly over the open pages of his notebook while a quick shrug of the elbow effectively closed his open book.

Unfortunately, while that hid the text within, it also revealed the front cover.

"_Shakespeare: Language of Love_?" Souji asked, the very picture of innocence while he fought to suppress a smirk.

"I have to write something for class!"

"Oh? What assignment?"

Yosuke's mouth opened and closed like a fish. Mentally, Souji reminded himself to visit the river soon.

"I-independent study!"

"Oh, cool," he smiled, eyes burning with his own private amusement, "Can I see what you're writing?"

"_No_," his best friend spat, slamming the notebook shut and gathering up his books, "Now go bug someone else."

Souji finally lost the battle with a grin when Yosuke stalked off to one of the private study booths. He didn't mind his partner's reluctance to show him his 'independent study'. Not really, anyway.

Something told him he would be seeing it soon, regardless.

* * *

_Porcelain_

_Are you wasting away in your skin_

_Are you missing the love of your kin_

_Drifting and floating and fading away_

Yosuke never quite knew what to make of Souji in the mornings. He was a chronic early riser and Souji, oddly enough, would let sleep linger if he could afford it. It should be the other way around. Yosuke was the lazy one, the immature one, the one who clung so fervently to childish pleasures. Souji was responsible and strong; never one to shirk his duties to the rest of the world, even through exhaustion.

Sometimes, if he was particularly bored, Yosuke would do his best to correct this error in their make ups. He would nuzzle and kiss Souji into consciousness, occasionally employing the sharp bone of his elbow if his partner was being particularly stubborn, and they would share the morning together.

But as the sun finally rose on December 4th, Yosuke let Souji sleep.

He ran a finger across his cheek, sighing softly. Yosuke's touch was tentative and light, painfully mindful of the fragileness that existed beyond that pale skin.

One wrong move and it would crack.

* * *

_I can't confront you_

_I never could do_

_That which might hurt you_

_So try and be cool_

_When I say_

_This way is a waterslide away from me that takes you further every day (hey)_

_So be cool_

It was one o'clock in the morning. Yosuke was in their poor excuse for a dining room; propping himself up on the collapsible card table while minutes of waiting turned to hours of frustration.

He knew Souji had friends. He knew that, but he had also considered himself one of them.

Once, anyway.

The front door finally swung open at two-thirty, carrying a chorus of raucous laughter from the dorm corridor. Souji came stumbling in, took one look at Yosuke, and promptly started giggling.

"Shit, that's right," he snorted, leaning against the wall for support, "I totally forgot we were studying tonight."

Yosuke shrugged, smiled, said it was fine -- just like he always did. Souji smiled back, wrapped his arms around his roommate's narrow shoulders, pressed a teasing kiss to his forehead, and promptly stumbled over to the couch to flip on the T.V. He preferred children's cartoons, when he was drunk. Yosuke would even watch them with him, sometimes.

Tonight, he went into the bathroom and sat on the toilet, trying to control his breathing while the spot on his forehead burned where Souji's lips had been.

He would go out to drag Souji to his room later, once the cartoon's had softened his drunken playfulness to a catatonic haze. Like every night, Souji would tug at the elastic of Yosuke's pajama pants and run a needy hand up his t-shirt.

And, like every night, Yosuke would push him away without a word, pull the quilt up over his arms, and wish him a friendly good night.

He did it for the same reason the roommate transfer forms he'd requested sat, unfilled out, under a pile of homework on his desk. For the same reason he continued to clean the puke stains from Souji's sheets, on the occasions he couldn't make it to the bathroom in time.

Because he loved him.

Because he was a coward.

* * *

_Well if you want to say yes, say yes_

_And if you want to say no, say no_

_cause there's a million ways to go_

_You know that there are_

"You don't have to say anything."

Yosuke scowled deeply and averted his eyes, glaring venomously at a dandelion bobbing against his pant leg in the wind. Seeds were breaking free, sticking to him stubbornly. He counted them, trying not to listen as Souji continued to speak.

_Three_

"I know how you feel about this sort of thing."

_Seven_

"It's just, I'm leaving in two weeks, and I had to let you know."

_Nine_

"I felt like I was taking advantage of you."

_Thirteen_

"Like I said, you can do whatever you want. I'm sure there will be other guys."

_Fifteen_

"I just hope we can still be friends."

Yosuke kicked the dandelion hard, sending a flurry of dancing seeds towards the winding current of the Samegawa.

"Idiot," he spat, finally meeting Souji's eye as he lurched forward into a desperate, confused embrace, "F-fucking idiot."

Souji pressed his face against the stiff fabric of Yosuke's gakuran, lips gradually curling into a small smile.

* * *

_Cellophane flowers of yellow and green,_

_Towering over your head._

_Look for the girl with the sun in her eyes,_

_And she's gone._

Souji cut through a mass of bubbling sludge, separating it with a clean swipe of his blade. Rivets of grease, black as pitch, ran down his sword and over his knuckles. He hissed sharply, wiping away the boiling shadow's blood. Still, not even several welts blossoming over the pink burn could deter his relentless assault on the next group of shadows advancing on them.

Yosuke could only stare, helpless, while his leader dived recklessly into encounter after encounter. There was little he could do, aside from follow orders, which mainly consisted of _heal yourself_, _get out of the way_, and _don't waste your energy, I can handle this. _Souji always followed that last command with a flick of the wrist, the crush of a card, and a relentless tear of wind ripping apart their foes.

The creeping fear and resentment of uselessness grew with each missed opening, all because Souji had ordered him to stay put and guard himself.

Eventually, Naoto convinced Souji how thoughtless rushing this way was, and the ash-haired boy consented to a brief break. The team splintered off, breaking into their own little groups. Some talked, others healed, the rest said nothing and simply stared out into the deceptively comforting, perpetually brilliant, sunset. All of them, though, gave their leader a wide berth.

Souji sank down, alone, next to a technicolor tree, its bright foliage mocking his partner's shadowed expression. A small flower dipped down from its branches, brushing his cheek softly.

Souji's face went deathly pale and that was Yosuke's cue to bridge the gap between them.

"Hey," he murmured, sinking down next to the other boy. The flower retreated back into the crown of the tree and Souji said nothing, even as Yosuke's thumb brushed his knuckles.

"You have to let me fight, Souji," he urged, trying to keep the bitterness from his voice, "I can help, you know I can. Just-"

"Should've left you at the entrance."

All of Yosuke's frustration drained out of him, leaving only hurt.

"Huh?"

Souji mumbled something else before standing up, motioning to the others that the break was over. Yosuke just stared, wondering whether he heard him correctly or his mind had simply supplied the words he _wanted_ to hear.

He fought hard in their next battle, ignoring Souji's orders in favor of unleashing torrent after torrent of rushing wind. He kept it up until their foes were reduced to pathetic puffs of black blood, marring the Heaven's shimmering tile floor.

Souji approached him later, face red, demanding an explanation. Yosuke merely shrugged, cleaning off his kunai before repeating the same words Souji had fifteen minutes prior.

"I can't lose you, either."

* * *

_Just let me hear some of that rock and roll music,_

_Any old way you choose it._

_It's got a back beat, you can't blues it,_

_Any old time you use it._

_It's gotta be rock and roll music,_

_If you wanna dance with me._

_If you wanna dance with me._

"You look ridiculous."

Yosuke merely grinned, shimmying his shoulders with more enthusiasm when the piano took on a rapid-fire succession of staccato plinks. His thumb and middle finger connected with a fluid snap, in time with the downbeats while his hips swiveled lewdly.

For a guy who always seemed so hung up on how others saw him, Yosuke had _no_ shame when he danced.

"You're just jealous because you can't pull off moves like this," he retorted, face flushed after an impromptu leap. The guitar sped up and the singer's words were steadily becoming incomprehensible, a quality mirrored in Yosuke's wild motions. Souji had to be grateful his boyfriend's parents weren't home; the volume on Yosuke's stereo was well past livable.

"I don't think I'd want to," Souji murmured, eyes transfixed as Yosuke crouched low in time with the mellower bridge, only to spring up when the rollicking chorus began again.

"Y'know," Yosuke grinned, a suggestive glint to his eye as he bobbed over to where Souji sat, "I can do other stuff to music, too."

Souji swallowed as the song switched, this one even wilder than the last. Yosuke merely grinned before pinning his boyfriend to the futon with a kiss, tongue working against his in time with the beat.

* * *

_Gone, gone, gone with the wind_

_Just like a leaf that has flown away_

_Gone with the wind_

_My romance has flown away_

_Yesterday's kisses are still, still on my lips,_

_I've had a lifetime of heaven at my fingertips._

Souji stared out the window of the train with a growing lump in his throat. All his friends had turned out to wish him off and now that his departure could be put off no longer, they ran alongside the train. Wishes for a safe trip alternated seamlessly with demands that he _better keep in contact if he knew what was good for him_.

Of all of them, the only person who hadn't said anything was Yosuke.

He ran with as much enthusiasm as any of them, chest heaving with the exertion of keeping up with the rapidly accelerating train car. The sun shined in his hair, turning it a coppery color that reminded Souji of a saucepan that had once belonged to his aunt. He brought it out of retirement soon after arriving; to make Yosuke lunch as an apology for an incorrect answer.

It always came back to Yosuke, somehow.

He was smiling, despite the redness around his eyes. Souji wondered if he had been crying, before coming here. In seconds, he was provided an answer, catching a quick refraction of light off his best friend's fresh tears.

He brought a hand up to the window, taking minute comfort in the cool press of glass. Yosuke raise a hand as well, easily passing the gesture off as a wave, but Souji knew better and managed a small smile. It was then that Yosuke finally broke his silence and, despite the vagueness of his words, Souji knew what they really meant.

_Distance doesn't matter to me__. Even if we're separated, __I still love you__._

His smile widened, tears pricking at his own eyes once the platform ended and his friends were forced to pool together at the edge. He could see Yosuke standing back slightly, letting the others have their moment. After all, he'd had his the night before, just the two of them. It was only fair.

When Souji felt a buzz in his pocket, he realized Yosuke may have had an ulterior motive to slipping away while the others were distracted.

_ dont think ur running away tht easy! im saving up 2 visit u as soon as i can afford it._

Souji smiled, squeezing the phone like he might squeeze Yosuke's hands. Almost instantly, the phone buzzed again.

_ i love u. call me tonight, k?_

Souji's smile only grew while he ran a thumb over the words, waiting a few moments before pressing reply.

_ was going to anyway. love you too._

* * *

_In between "what I find is pleasing" and "I'm feeling fine",_

_Love is so confusing._

_There's no peace of mind_

_If I fear I'm losing you._

_It's just no good, you teasing like you do._

"Got another date lined up?" he asked, hoping the snide bite he heard in his head wasn't audible to his friend. Souji merely shrugged and nodded, making a note of it in his phone. It was that actress girl, this time. Yosuke didn't know her well and they had never run in the same circles. Although, to be fair, it could be said that Yosuke's 'circle' was a one man show.

Souji, though. He ran in _everyone's_ circle.

"I don't get you, man," Yosuke mumbled, shaking his head as he fumbled with the lock on his bicycle, "Can't you just pick someone and stick to them?"

As if to punctuate what he felt was a _very_ snappy line, Yosuke hopped on the seat of his bike, gripping the handle bars. A familiar weight soon joined him, accompanied by two smooth hands that wrinkled the fabric of his gakuran with their grip.

"How do you know I haven't?" Souji murmured, squeezing his shoulders in a way that could only be construed as _meaningful_. Yosuke froze, swallowed, then scoffed with a shaky laugh.

"You're such a jerk, scaring me like that," he dismissed, pushing off the pavement and peddling down the floodplain road.

"Mm, I guess so, Hana-chan."

_Tease_, Yosuke spat inwardly, concentrating his efforts on making the ride as jumpy for Souji as possible.

* * *

_Which describes how you're feeling all the time_

_When you lie that your life's unappealing all the time_

_But your lie doesn't rhyme with the word overseas_

_Overseas there's this guy_

_Who describes how you're feeling all the time_

_In his mind he can find how you're feeling all the time_

If Souji leaving for Tokyo was awful, him leaving for America was far worse.

At least they had been in the same _country_ before.

Souji wasn't free to call often, and when he was, Yosuke tended to be asleep. Or, rather, he had for the first month. Now he stayed up past when he should, waiting for when Souji would get out of school and grace him with a phone call.

Sometimes, when Souji expressed regret for calling so late, Yosuke would laugh and tell him it's no trouble and that he was up anyway and _hey, why don't you tell me about that weird French teacher again?_ All while doing his best to not collapse with exhaustion.

That sort of thing was better left for trigonometry, the next morning.

One side effect of being so tired when Souji called was his self-censor failing. More than once, he'd gone on long, rambling tangents about how things just aren't the _same_ anymore, now that he left. If he was feeling in a bad mood, Yosuke doled out vitriol laden rants proclaiming his father the worst man alive because _he wanted me to stock shelves until eleven o'clock, can you believe that, partner!?_ _I mean, I've got a life to lead!_

Once, he cried, blubbering nonsensically about how much it _sucked_ that Souji was gone and how much it _sucked_ that he was alone and how much everything just _sucked_. His best friend had been accommodating and soothing during the breakdown, but it had been awkward for a few days after. The fact that Souji was too busy to call for a few days only made it worse.

"Sorry about last time," Yosuke slurred sleepily, stirring sugar into his second coffee, "Don't know what I was doing."

"It's okay," Souji replied, his smile audible amidst the sea of traffic sounds and vendors barking things Yosuke couldn't understand. The foreign language only made Souji seemed further away than usual, nearly bringing him to tears a second time.

"Yeah, I know. It's just been rough." A pause. "W-with work and everything, that's all. School too. Third year, huh? S'brutal."

"Mm," Souji agreed, sounding a little distracted. He spouted out a few words in English, saying something Yosuke vaguely recognized as buying a train ticket. He sighed, tracing his finger along the handle of his mug.

"I miss you," he whispered, not thinking for a moment that Souji might actually be listening, "I miss you so much, you idiot. Come back home."

There was a long pause, and Yosuke was sure Souji hadn't heard him after all. He started rambling about work again, going into minute detail about how much he detested the new part-timers they'd just hired. Souji allowed nearly a minute of pointless babble before cutting him off.

"I love you too, Yosuke."

Later, he would wonder if he dreamt it. For now, he merely sighed with relief.

Once again, Souji had managed to say exactly what needed to be said.

* * *

_Other arms reach out to me_

_Other eyes smile tenderly_

_Still in peaceful dreams I see_

_The road leads back to you_

Yosuke had been dating Toshi for a year now. They had been taking serious steps towards getting an apartment together when everything fell apart.

"Who is this?" he demanded, clutching fistfuls of letters, throwing them to the floor in a messy heap. There were dozens upon dozens, written on both stationary and bar napkins, and on each one, the signature was the same.

_With all my love,_

_Souji_

"The _fuck_, Yosuke!?" Toshi seethed, snatching the topmost letter on the pile, "_I'm writing this to you immediately after receiving your last letter. Well, not immediately, but that's only because you decided to grant my request for a picture of your new guitar…although the inclusion of yourself sans clothing was an inspired choice (very, very inspired). I-_"

"Stop it," Yosuke murmured, eyes shut tight while his fists clenched, "Stop."

"I'll stop when you tell me who this Souji guy is! How long have you been talking to this asshole!?"

"I haven't gotten a letter from him in years," the brunette hissed through gritted teeth, "He was my best friend."

"Yeah," Toshi snapped, "Sounds like a really great _friend_."

Yosuke winced.

"There has to be at least fifty letters here!" his boyfriend continued, gesturing to the pile. Yosuke sighed to himself, knowing there were far more. Toshi had only found one box. "Why didn't you ever tell me about this guy?"

"Because I don't talk about him with anyone, alright?" He sounded tired, even to his own ears. It made him feel pathetic.

"What, did he _die_ or something?" Toshi sneered, arms crossed defiantly. It was all Yosuke could do not to collapse into an immature mess of sobs. Crying about the past was something he might (and did) do years ago, but he was thirty-four years old now. He'd done enough crying.

"Yes," he whispered, willing his voice not to crack. Toshi's arms instantly dropped to his sides, suddenly full of sincere apology. Yosuke let himself be wrapped up in an embrace, trying not to focus on the pile of letters on the floor. They were getting stepped on, and he _knew_ he wouldn't be able to relax until they were safely put shoved back inside his closet. Having all those words spilled out into his new life, his _real_ life, was too painful. They seeped into his mind, replacing Toshi's gentle voice with his.

"_Forgetting about me already, Hana-chan? I'm not mad, if you are. Could I have another photo? It's been so long, I can barely remember your face."_

Yosuke lost the battle with tears, just as Toshi pressed a soft kiss under his ear. Just the way Souji used to.

* * *

bawwww. Lemme know what you think!


End file.
